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This story won’t take long because I still only remember a portion of my night. After a buffet Dinner at Mirage which included unlimited booze my friends and I were already pre-sauced. I remembered making everyone stagger over to Excalibur after we went downtown to walk amongst the crazy people in the street. I guess whatever frozen concoctions that we engulfed while down there didn’t take effect until we reached the castle.
There is always a great vibe on the gambling floor at Excalibur. I was wasted and playing roulette (although poorly because I woke up with no money) and the last thing I remember was going to the lounge area of the casino floor. I know there is a bathroom next to it because I slightly remember falling off a bar stool at some point to get to it. And then TOTAL BLACKOUT.
The following morning, I woke up in our hotel room about 930AM alone not knowing where my buddies were. Snuggled up next to me is what appeared to be a 3-foot-tall fake Christmas tree decoration complete with shiny gold tinsel wrapped around it. Where did this, tree come from? How did it end up in my bed? Am I currently wanted by Las Vegas Metro?
All these questions went unanswered as my friends won’t tell me (or don’t remember) anything. The next day and a half I kept an eye out for faux trees that resembled the snuggle bed tree buddy of mine. With no luck, I was left with a foggy memory and a morning filled with Christmas Confusion.
So there I was with a buddy of mine not even knowing that Las Vegas had beer gardens. We found this one that was actually sponsored by Budweiser and being hefty beer addicts we realized that we couldn't go wrong….so we thought.
Hour one of beer garden drinking couldn't have been any better. The beers were delicious, the view of the Strip was Perfect, and the people watching was great both in and out of the venue. I wasn’t even keeping track of the number of beers we were drinking because many came in the form of pitcher and tower looking devices that were destroying our sobriety by the glass full.
Right about hour two and change, my buddy and I were both feeling no pain with whatever exotic kegged happy juice was just poured down our gullets. It was when I left to go to the bathroom that I realized just how intox I really was, and maybe it would be time to mosey on down the strip pretty soon when it happened.
Apparently I missed the initial exchange, but there was my buddy in a verbal dispute over a balcony with what looked to be a 2 foot tall man in some sort of costume. Leprechaun maybe? I wasn't too sure how it started but it sounded as though my friends was calling him a “wee little man” in what sounds like a terrible Irish accent.
To make a long story short I will fast forward 12 minutes as I realized it was now time for us to pay our bill and get out of dodge. As we sat there waiting for our card to be taken the little guy that my friend was yelling at came over to the table yelling obscenities. When we stood up to get our bearing in the situation I said out loud “oh yea he is a leprechaun” at which time the little guy winds up and kicks both my buddy and I as hard as he could in the shins (mine was more of a knee kick).
Imagine looking up from one knee in horrible pain to the sight of the lucky charms guy pissed off and yelling curses at you? Yea, well that made for my favorite drunk Vegas afternoon I can remember in recent memory. Curse me lucky charms that fucker kicked us!
This is kind of a quick story, but one that I must tell. My buddy and I were on a 2 day bender after driving in from California and were handling ourselves as Vegas regulars should. After dousing ourselves in gambling loss booze we decide that it may benefit us to walk outdoors and see the strip. All this was supposed to do is stop us from losing money for at least an hour.
As we walked it was becoming more apparent that this decision was a good one and I told him that I wanted to make my way to “the park” thing in front of the new arena. It must have been a few minutes after this decision was made that we hear this very loud popping sound coming from a pedestrian bridge. At first I was thinking car backfire or something big even falling from a balcony of a hotel. It was with the site of people now running in all directions that I then utter the words “dude I thing those are gunshots”
And gunshots they were…..from the response we saw at the bridge it seems as though there was a Vegas style hit that went down before our very eyes (actually at a distance but still). We now have an epic Vegas story, and more important we have a reason to not go outside as much when we visit. Stay Classy Las Vegas!
I just got back after a three day bender with my childhood friend. We stayed off the strip at Tuscany suites and felt a little bit pissed that we decided to save a few bucks by staying off the strip. That is until one crazy Vegas Night where we went all out and ended up getting back to the hotel around 4 in the morning.
Just as we thought we were done for the evening we heard loud female voices emulating from the central hotel bar. I figured there was absolutely no harm in seeing what I was hearing and thank god that I did. A set of four beautiful bombshells were singing and drinking the night away and I saw an opportunity.
I figured that I would “go big” or “go home”, and picked the perfect opening line to these ladies. “Hey you ladies aren't hookers are you?” This was met with laughter and smart ass comments and we were off. The Vegas gods were upon us.
Long story short I ended up hitting it off with a red head I will nickname “fireball” for artistic sake. After four more rounds of drinks with some dancing and singing in the bar I decided to walk off with fireball hand in hand.
We ended up in a gym area of the hotel and I though this would not suffice for naughty time, but to my surprise the outside entrance door to their pool section was still open. We quickly sauntered out to a cabana looking spot and took care of business under the cover of cloth and darkness. After this event “fireball” decided it a good idea for us to go skinny dipping and get dressed and escape as quickly as possible to meet our friends back at the bar.
It was a great Vegas adventure that Im glad I can share with all of you because It makes me want to fly back each word I write. Thanks to “fireball” for making what happens in Vegas, Stay in Vegas!
Read our article on what it took to make it through an all day buffet marathon at a major Vegas hotel!
The sound of a street sweeper startled me as I slowly opened my eyes to the tragedy that has become the end of a crazy evening. Across from me sits a stereotypical homeless man stretched out on a piece of cardboard that once encased frozen McDonalds french fries. I gaze across the open field to some strange cement towers and realize that I didn’t make it back to my hotel the night before.
My last memory was in the Excalibur hotel at around 4AM. I took the remainder of my bankroll and then decided it wise to drip it on a roulette table full of overweight patrons. My luck has steadily declined it seems, and I needed to eat. A food court would be my salvation.
At this hour the only restaurant open was a Chinese food chain looking joint. One of those places that you can find in any suburban shopping mall has now become the grease infestation of my colon. Where did my friends go? At what point did I lose them? Belly full its was time to stagger on my way to a future of Vegasy fun. That clearly didn’t happen.
It was early morning and I was fresh out of cash which is what lead me to want to walk back to my hotel in the first place. Staggering around the castle I remembered seeing those frozen drink machines behind some Tiki counter which seemed like a great idea at the time. The sweet looking blonde with ample bosom asked me if I would like a shot of what must be grain alcohol on top…..”of course I do” must have been what I muddled to this innocent mid western swill slinger.
Now its morning…..My wallet was still in my back pocket which was a shock although I had no more money left in it. The small stretch of cement that my new homeless friend and I spent an evening must have looked like a good place to rest on my death march back to my hotel. It was to be the greatest walk of shame that anyone has ever had in this god awful amazing vacationland for degenerates such as I.
This is first and last time I will decide to walk home on a blackout in Las Vegas. I need meetings.
Hey there, I just want to tell a little bit of information about a holiday that I took a while back. Apparently there is a pornography awards event that goes on in Las Vegas, and at the time I was staying at the same place where it was being held.
The amazing thing to tell the world is that these women who are associated with it tend to hang around the hotel bars after they are through for the day. This is also at a time when they have already wrapped up there nightly parties and are already feeling fabulous!
Without the details of a few grand evenings, let me just say that it was impossible for me to not at least get contact information from these ladies and a few times did end up having them up for a “drink” in the room.
FInd out when this event is, and enjoy the sights around you!
No shit there I was, stumbling drunk out of what I was told was a reputable strip club in Las Vegas. Instead of jumping in a Cab I thought it wise to walk to the bright lights of the business next door to attain more Tobacco products and booze. I was with my buddy so thought it safe.
One 24oz can of cheap beer and a pack of Cigarettes later we emerged looking at a group of people making noise in the parking lot. I decided it a good idea (because I was drunker than hell) to see what all the fuss was about. Once we were about 30 feet away it was clear that this was no normal fight.
On the ground was a guy who looked about 20 years old and curled up in the fetal position trying to look pathetic to avoid further beating. The other 4 guys were yelling down at him and puffing out their chests over this poor kid when one turned and locked eyes with me.
So there we were, speed walking back to the entrance of a strip bar, beer slopping around in our hands and praying that we don”t get overcome by the mad men. Why were they so angry? What did anyone do wrong? Luckily the bouncer walked at us and escorted us back to the safety of the cab line like we were a bunch of pussies (because we are).
All I can say is, “thank you bounce guy”, for making our funny little Vegas Story one that didn’t end in a hospital!
I recently returned back from Las Vegas after a short 4 day trip for my friends bachelorette party. Our plan was to explore the strip and to spend every day sun bathing by the pool. After our first afternoon we decided that we would go to the club Hyde later that night. It was okay, but after all chipping in 100 bucks for bottle service I can see where these clubs get their money. I was a bit turned off by the loud music and annoying guys, but we danced and eventually got drunk.
That next morning at breakfast we asked our waiter about the pool at our hotel (Mirage) and he told us that it is very popular during the day and has a fun environment. We were entering the pool area and all of a sudden were in a club once again only this one looked a lot more fun.
After we got our seats (we paid for) I looked around and all I saw was people dancing and then I noticed a woman walking by with no shirt or bathing suit top on. She was seated next to my friends and I and that sparked the future events. Lets just say that it took about 3 frozen drinks and some prodding from my friends until I was considering going topless.
The woman walked by for what must have been her 4th pass and then I said “fuck this, my body is better than that bitch” and off came my bathing suit top. This lead to my friends doing the same and all of a sudden we had a pack of drunk ladies all laughing and drinking with their lady parts for all to see. To our surprise we didn’t feel like a lot of men were gawking for the purpose of seeing the sites (which could have been the booze too).
The next few days were a little more tame, but I wont forget the time I let it all hang out with my friends (literally). Booze, club music, and naked friends is what I will keep in my memories of those Vegas pool days. Ladies, go to the Mirage, and feel free to be free of clothing!!
Besides the writer of this blog, we have been getting a bunch of articles from our friends on the ground in Vegas and other places. Contact us if you have an article to contribute.
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