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June 22 2016

Its that moment when you first book your flight back to Las Vegas that you decide that you are going to “do things different this time”. All of a sudden the last 5 times you came home on the Red Eye with nothing left in your pockets but .23 cent slot voucher and a porn flicker card become a distant memory. If you have ever heard the term that “distance makes the heart grow fonder” and it was in relation to a girlfriend that lives across the country, then you are hearing a  bunch of crap…..If the distance that is being talked about is the amount of time since your last visit to Las Vegas, then YES….it does make the heart grow fonder. Fonder of the idea of making money out of thin air. The more time that passes since our last visit to Las Vegas the more we forget how much money we lose and drunk we get. All of these facts usually make us start our trip hitting the submit button of a travel booking site with nothing but good karma pumping through your brain.

We just discussed what happens to us as we set up our next upcoming Las Vegas trip and it is nothing short of miraculous that most people have short term memory loss when it comes to three day benders at a roulette table surrounded by hookers and booze. Its that memory loss that leads the typical Las Vegas gambler to go into their next phase which is planning a future bankroll. Its during this phase that we find ourselves under estimating the amount of money that we plan on spending on our gambling. We start doing things like thinking that we will live on nothing but 99 cent hotdogs and McDonalds when the reality is something much different. What happens is we always seem to be pulled into some eating establishment where a high priced celebrity chef overcharges us for a cheeseburger. Why do we do this? Alcohol and convenience is your answer. The delusion of our upcoming trip has begun, which leads us to the next thought process.

Anyone who has visited Las Vegas and has left with their tails between their legs can attest to the fact that losing money is no fun, and we alway come up with a plan to lose less of it in the future. The problem with this is that we are all compulsive to begin with which is why we gamble, and by the time you can legally gamble we are all pretty much set in our ways, so what’s the point anyway. What usually happens as a result of this thinking is a plan to do stupid things like leaving a certain amount of cash in a hotel safe that you will only touch in an emergency. We all know that the emergency could be a gross 3 hour money bleeder at a craps table or the thought of making it rain at the spearmint rhino (popular strip club for you newbies). We are lying to ourselves people. That money should be tucked back away in juniors college fund and not in our hotel safe where we can all agree that it is not safe.

Like a lot of other topics discussed, there much be a reason for the distortion between the budget we want to spend and the reality that keeps on happening after each visit. The answer in most cases is alcohol. If you are reading this and think that this is not true for you then congratulations, you might have a gambling problem. The truth is that we all try to make ourselves feel better before that next upcoming trip to rationalize the behavior that we know that we are about to inevitably portray. Not to sound like a shrink or anything, but the truth is that the minute we can get away from the pre rationalizing to the booze soaked reality phase of Las Vegas, the happier we all are.

Where does this leave us as far as a plan for the future? The answer is absolutely nowhere. Will reading something as simple as these ramblings of a Las Vegas gambling drunk change our behavior in the future? NO. Will we stop putting our money in the hotel safe and pretend that “ginger” wont be receiving it in the form of singles later that night? NO. What we will do is work hard to do the same thing that we have been dong since we first visited our beloved Las Vegas…. we will wait the appropriate about of time to forget our last thrashing until we plan our next trip because, “absence makes the heart grow fonder”

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